nuchild: (Default)
nuchild ([personal profile] nuchild) wrote2004-12-04 02:16 am

mmmm sleepy sleepy sleepy

Title: Chains for the Heart
Rating: PG-R (for the heavy angst)
Beta: The lovely [ profile] hobbitgwen
Pairing: Elijah/Orlando
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't know, don't sue.
Warning: Heavy, heavy angst.

“I’m getting married”

The world spun on its axis and tilted.

Swirling, the room narrowing down to the three words that had started the massive tornado in Elijah’s head. He felt the floor slipping under his feet, his hand instinctively reaching out for something to steady himself against.

“Did you hear me?” Orlando’s chocolate puppy eyes seemed truly concerned and oblivious to the fact that he had literally just rocked Elijah’s world. Elijah opened his mouth to say a few words, maybe a sentence stating his feelings on the matter, but nothing would come out. It was funny, really, because he did have a lot to say. The kitchen was too bright; the florescent lights made Elijah feel like even the hairs on his arms had a spotlight on them. He knew he was staring at Orlando, staring but not seeing.

Pulling his hand out of the death grip it had developed on the kitchen counter top; Elijah slowly made his way to the living room couch. The room was dark enough to be comfortable with the tears that were gradually making themselves known at the corners of his eyes. He sat down heavily at the corner of the sofa, curled his legs under himself and tucked his head in the crook of his arm.

Orlando followed Elijah and sat down a few inches away.

“Elijah…I don’t understand why you’re acting this way,” Orlando’s tone was pleading, desperately pleading. “We talked about this, you knew this had to happen sooner or later.”

They had talked about this, but at the time Elijah hadn’t believed it would ever happen. He hadn’t believed Orlando would ever come to his home with news like this. He hadn’t believed Orlando would ever hurt him like this. But it was happening and Orlando was silently begging Elijah to understand, to support him.

“She’s great, Elijah.” Orlando must have expected Elijah to jump up and pat his back, because when Elijah didn’t move an inch his face dropped. “And I love her.”

Elijah face hidden by his arm, he was free to let his tears flow free at those word. They couldn’t possibly be true. Didn’t Orlando just come to him last week at three in the morning needing physical comfort and warmth? Didn’t he wrap his arms around Elijah and plant kisses in his hair for hours afterwards? Didn’t he say those same three words to him while the sun came up and they both were contemplating the day ahead? No, he decided, those things didn’t happen. If they had Orlando wouldn’t have come to tear his heart out through his ears.

Elijah felt the bitterness swell in his chest. The feeling made him want to vomit, and for a few seconds, he thought he just might. He let the feeling take over his body until there was nothing of him left. Let it eat his sorrow away. Anger was better than the pain.

“I’m happy for you, really,” Elijah didn’t try to conceal the bite in his voice. “And I know you’ll be very good together”

“Elijah…” Orlando trailed off as he tried to find words to counter Elijah’s new mood and failed.

Elijah rose from his position on the couch and slowly, because he was suddenly very tired, made his way to his room. He lay on his bed with his clothes on and listened to the slight noise in the house.

The sound of Orlando pacing the floor, before walking out and slamming the door, was the last thing he heard before sleep took him away from the nightmare he was living.

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